From the Counselor's Desk: Good grief: What is it, for crying out loud?

Sounds like an oxymoron, eh?? Anyone in the throes and agony of grief would call it anything but good.?

But it is.

What is it?
According to the Mayo Clinic, grief is a natural reaction to loss.? It?s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be.?People may associate grief with the death of a loved one (which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief) but any loss can cause grief, including:

Divorce or relationship breakup Loss of health Losing a job Loss of financial stability A miscarriage Retirement

Death of a pet Loss of a cherished dream A loved one?s serious illness Loss of a friendship Loss of safety after a trauma Selling the family home

Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss.

The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can?t be forced or hurried ? and there is no ?normal? timetable for grieving.? It takes as long as it takes.? Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years.

Whatever your grief experience, it?s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

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Myths and Facts About Grief

MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact:? Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse later on. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It?s important to "man up" or be ?be strong? in the face of loss.
Fact:? Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss.? Crying doesn?t mean you are weak.? You don?t need to ?protect? your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

MYTH: If you don?t cry, it means you aren?t sorry about the loss.
Fact:? Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it?s not the only one.? Those who don?t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.
Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. ? It takes as long as it takes.

Next:? Why does it hurt so freakin' bad?

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Source:? http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
(c)2013 Robyn M. Posson

Source: http://fromthecounselorsdesk.blogspot.com/2013/04/good-grief-what-is-it-for-crying-out.html

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